HR is seen frantically looking for the company's POSH policy. The document is not read for its legal merit. It is frantically skimmed for one specific, life affirming detail: The name of the External Member of the Internal Committee (IC).
Author - Anupreeta Lall
The process is frankly exquisite, a thing of beauty. First, the organisation announces its "bold, new vision" with a press release so saccharine it could give you a cavity. They set an impossible-sounding goal, like "50% leadership to comprise of DEI hires by the end of Q4 2025," which sounds...
People forget they ever participated. Until, weeks later, a town hall is announced. The CEO stands before a colourful slide deck and triumphantly announces: "We are proud to report an engagement score of 74%." The room claps, unsure if that's a cause for celebration or concern. Is that a good score?
HR immediately launches Damage Control Protocol. This includes a mandatory "Professional Conduct Refresher" where they pretend everyone behaves like fully-formed adults and no one is watching their ex across the room waiting for a shark attack.
You can almost hear the internal scream as the HR head clutches the laminated value charter like it's a scroll from Mount Sinai. The struggle, my friends, is real.
Performance reviews leave HR professionals in need of therapy. The time-honoured method of constructive feedback-praise, critique, praise is lost on Gen Z.
The true artistry of the WMDs lies in the other deductions, a beast that devours random, unspecified amounts. These bespoke deductions, nibble away random, unspecified amounts, leaving you scratching your head at the laws of fiscal physics.
Welcome to The Third Eye - a column where I, your friendly neighbourhood search consultant, take a humorous, sardonic look at the bewildering world of Human Resources. From a perch high above the trenches, I observe the intricate, often amusing or even absurd dance between employees and employers...
The leadership might decide that the organisation needs a more Zen like philosophy. "We want every department to reflect compassion, calmness and mindfulness in their operations! Start with the Legal Department.
"We shall come back to you" is a rite of passage, a test of endurance, a legend in its own right. This magical incantation, spoken with an air of enigmatic wisdom, has the ability to transport you to a dimension where time stands still; where reality blurs.



